But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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