The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i dont even know how to be here
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
