wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize