your room smells of hookers.
And success
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
