she was so not down for the gang bang
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
