Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
