Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize