I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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