i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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