we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
