i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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