Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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