dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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