i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
