Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i came on her dog
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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