I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We need to get me chipped asap
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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