Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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