nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
