I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
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it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
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In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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