Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
