one two three fourrrrnication!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
