Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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