hotel room ftw
you would pick up someone in the library
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
