dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
