im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
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Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
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I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
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