Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
this must be what syphilis tastes like
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
