'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
