I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
