I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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