He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
