these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I skipped work to stalk him.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Randomize
