im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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