This is not my ceiling
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
