I cannot find my penis.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
