I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
