i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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