You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
