just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
