For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
