Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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