There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
