so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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