i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
