I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
