covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
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I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
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Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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