You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
