Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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