i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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