I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize