So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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