I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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