Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize