I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize