found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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