I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize