We should be called the Road Head Warriors
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
