Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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