i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
