Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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