CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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