I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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