She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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