There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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