he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
