'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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