I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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