Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
