it hurts more in the daytime
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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