This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
