What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Randomize
