but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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