We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
